February was definitely not an easy month for me. Aside from the backdrop of the pandemic, the storm in Texas, everything going on in the political world of the US, and me getting COVID-19, February was also the month that my maternal grandfather unfortunately passed away. He lived a long life, but he was sick in his last days, and with COVID still being a thing, I wasn’t able to see him in the hospital. My mom did go up to see him though, and I’m told that he was put in hospice so he had a peaceful passing. It still hurts, though. I am glad that he’s no longer sick or suffering, though; that was worth than him dying in my opinion.
Grief is weird. Some days, times, even, I’ll feel okay while others I feel really emotional. Little things remind me of him and I don’t feel so okay, or sometimes I’ll have that bittersweet kind of smile when my mom discusses her memories of her dad. I guess I just didn’t expect grief to feel so moody? I thought I would feel intense sadness and general dependence that would gradually go away, but instead my emotions keep going up in down, changing within the day by the slightest or not-so-slightest thing. I like things to be structured, but grief is clearly not linear, and it’s a strong reminder for me that most things in life aren’t linear. I’m learning to accept that and generally be okay with it.
I’m extremely blessed for my support system. I’m so thankful I have these people in my life, and I hope I hold on to the generosity they share with me and never take it for granted.
It’s been less than a year since I graduated, and it’s been less than a year since I started working my first post-graduate job as a technical writer, and I’ve learned a lot (and am still learning a lot!) I thought it would be fun to list some of the most important things I learned at work so far: